Speakers Bureau

Popular requests


  • De-escalation and conflict resolution
  • Business communication and writing
  • Intergenerational communication
  • Identifying and recruiting talent
  • Team communication

Management and Professionalism

  • Employee onboarding and orientation
  • Culture change and building a positive culture
  • Employee coaching
  • Delegation
  • Managing difficult conversations
  • Time management

Small business operations

  • Entrepreneurship and small business coaching
  • Small business start-up and management
  • Small business finance
  • Effective advertising and promotions
  • E-commerce


Accounting and finance

  • Cost accounting
  • Finance basics, planning, and statements
  • Budget planning
  • Grant management



  • Cultural intelligence and competency
  • Managing team perceptions
  • Project communication and planning
  • Six Sigma


Nonprofit organizations

  • Fundraising
  • Storytelling for effect
  • Board development and management

Technology and tech-enabled solutions

  • Artificial Intelligence
  • Big Data
  • New media
  • Social media

Additional resources

See a list of experts


Our team identifies and manages speakers for many organizations. Check out our YouTube channel to see a few examples of IU Indianapolis expert presenters.

See playlist


Proposal Writing, with Catherine Brown

Presented to the Indiana Farmers' Market Community of Practice

Courageous Conversations: Confrontation without Conflict!

Presented at the Indiana Farmers' Market Community of Practice Lunch and Learn

Creating funding proposals can be an overwhelming and daunting process. In this webinar Cathy Brown with the Fund Raising School, an institute of Lilly Family School of Philanthropy at IUPUI, breaks down the 3 primary components to the proposal writing process: Project Development, Funder Match, and Proposal Creation. Participants will take away practical tips and suggestions for each area, as well as important and helpful resources.  Presentation  |  Tips and Resources handout

Description of the video:

all right well i think we'll go ahead
and get started so hello and welcome to
the indiana farmers market community of
practice november webinar proposal
writing i am christina ferrolli the
grants program coordinator for the
indiana cooperative development center
with us today we have catherine brown
kathy designs and teaches courses for
the fundraising school an institute of
the lilly family school of philanthropy
at iupui
she has 20 plus years experience in
non-profit management and fundraising
including proposal development and grant
in addition to expertise in curriculum
design and instruction
kathy received a bachelor of arts from
hanover college master of science in
education from indiana university
and graduate certificate in
philanthropic studies from lilly family
school of philanthropy at iupui
she is a nationally certified associate
professional in talent development
i want to remind everyone to please
remain muted during the presentation and
if you have questions drop them into the
chat and we will have time um at the end
for a q a
thank you and welcome kathy
well thank you it's it's great to be
here with all of you um on what's a i
know a very busy time of year
for all of us
shout out to all of our purdue extension
friends uh christine and i remembered uh
just before this all started that we
probably connected back in our extension
days as well um but uh glad to have all
of you with us
and again um thanks for being here we're
gonna take some time and just
think about this whole idea of writing
uh grant proposals um
and we'll start out as i said feel free
to introduce yourself in the chat um and
if you've got questions as christina
mentioned don't hesitate to pop them in
there we'll monitor those as we go and
have plenty of time at the end
um but but let's just get started with a
quick overview of foundations in the us
and what we happen to know is it is the
fastest growing market of all funding
markets um
certainly in 2020 um and on track
similarly this year there are over a
hundred and nineteen thousand
foundations registered in the us with
one point true billion or excuse me
trillion with the t
uh in assets and um last year 88 billion
in giving
throughout the nonprofit sector
so that just gives you a big broad look
at the foundation market in particular
which we'll spend a little bit of our
time today talking about
um but our overall objective as you saw
um as you registered for the program is
to work through sort of the three key
areas of proposal development um as as
the process of of creating and writing
proposals and we're we're condensing um
what we teach in a 16-hour class
into about 45 minutes so we'll highlight
we'll go over some of the key areas
and then you will have access to both
the presentation and a resource sheet
that will be shared with you afterwards
so don't worry about being frantic about
taking notes um that you'll get that
information as well
so today what we're going to do is we're
initially going to talk about
how we prepare
for a successful project development
then we'll get into how we match funders
with our project or proposal and then
we'll finish with how we create those
successful projects or proposals so that
is the plan for the day
and with that
we'll start out with again
just a little bit of highlighting of
foundations and or funders in general
we'll we'll spend most of our times
together today talking about private
foundations um which are also sometimes
called independent foundations and it's
the largest portion of foundations in
the us today they generally are
established by individuals or families
but then move forward into
operating independently
outside of just a family influence now
family foundations are sort of a little
sub sector under um these private or
independent foundations
and that is a really
quickly growing segment in the
foundation market
and could be
formalized very similar to what a
private foundation looks like or could
be much less formal i have a friend
whose family has a their own family
foundation their giving decisions are
made around their thanksgiving dinner
so it's it's a pretty wide range of how
those particular types of foundations
operate we'll dive into that a little
bit further
you we also have operating foundations
we'll spend a little less time on that
today simply because operating
foundations are set up to raise funds
for a particular entity
the indiana university foundation raises
money for indiana university so while
entities within the university can get
funding from that foundation entities
outside that university don't
your your local school education
foundation would be similarly set up in
that way so we don't spend as much time
working with operating foundations
unless you happen to have
or be part of an operating foundation
within your own entity
we also may be working with corporate
foundations these are typically just as
they sound set up
within or inside of companies
large or small businesses doesn't
necessarily mean it's not always a large
company that sets it up
but that's another source of funding and
then you may be familiar with community
foundations certainly the central
indiana community foundation is one that
is well known to uh to a number um those
of us in and from indiana
and these are entities that raise funds
from the public and then engage in grant
maybe making
primarily within a specific geographic
central indiana community foundation
funds things in central indiana
interestingly there there's kind of a
wide range of how the community
foundations define their geographic
and for example silicon valley community
foundation out in california says that
their geography is the globe so
really anyone could respect or could
apply for funding through the silicon
valley community foundation
where in you know the cicf you want to
be somewhere in the region that they
serve so just some ways to kind of think
about the types of funders we might be
working with
you might also work with government
funding you might work with other types
of funders fraternal organizations
churches and so on um but the the
process of applying for uh funding
is very similar throughout these
entities there might be some small
nuances uh that differentiate but what
we'll talk about today are the core
strategies that apply across the board
um through all of these types of funders
the other things that just as we're kind
of opening up to talk a little bit about
just the types of funding we might be
applying for
there's what we might call a traditional
grant that's what you think of when you
hear somebody talk about grant writing
or proposal writing
it's where there is a funder who has put
out a
an opportunity for funds to be
earned or applied for
and then they
you fill out their application
do the things that they ask you to do
and then they choose to fund some of
those applicants so that's more of a
traditional format
newer grants that we're seeing are
coming from donor advised funds um which
there's lots of information out
the the quick
quick very simplistic definition is that
donors are giving
funding um a chunk of funding to um a
fund holder which is generally either a
community foundation
or a private entity schwab fidelity
there's some different ones
and donors do that to get the full tax
break right then but then can determine
with that whole fund holder where those
funds go
and we've seen a big increase in that
over the last few years
though it's it's been a resource
available to um to donors for many years
since the 30s i believe
it's certainly gained interest and
strength over the last couple of years
certain last few years in any case
you might get endowment funding
that's where a fund has been set up with
an entity that the principal is
basically not touched but the interest
is that's earned is paid out in various
there again we might get government
funding we might get corporate funding
through through their corporate
foundation or through other types of
corporate funding which we'll talk about
in a moment here um and then there are
other mechanisms as well that bring in
funding for our entities to to do their
work as you see um so
the key there is just to kind of think
about who we're applying to and how
we're reaching out
um and the type of funding that we're
seeking sort of the source that we're
looking um looking to for these funds
another quick point just to highlight um
as we start thinking about these uh
working with and applying for grants is
to determine are we looking for a grant
or are we looking for a sponsorship
because there are some differentiations
and those influence or affect how we
um so as you can see here partnerships
our grants are more partnerships you are
working with a funder together to make
something happen
where in a sponsorship it's more an idea
of providing the visibility for the the
person or the entity that are that
you're working with um
grants are operative in that they
you're working again with a funder to
make something happen
um sponsorships are a little more
transactional they're providing funds
for this this visibility this appearance
at your event or this signage at your
market or whatever it may be
you'll you'll see some of the other key
differences the time frame is one that's
a big indicator um
grants tend to run one to three years
i don't know of too many that are longer
than that
um it
or too many that are shorter than a year
but there's a longer time frame whereas
a sponsorship is typically a day of or
an event specific time frame
so it's again the time frame is
different and understanding some of
these key differences helps you realize
what it is that you seek and what it is
that the funder provides
so that you can create the application
appropriately to get what's necessary um
you know in some cases where we apply
for a grant
and then
we really are just looking for
sponsorships we're looking for someone
to you know be the the key sponsor at a
dinner or the you know have the key
signage um at an event
but if we're applying for a full grant
there's going to be a lot more to it
that's required that we may not need to
to do in order to to meet our goals so
it's important to think through which
which you are looking for
to know how to best match up your
project and the funder
and the last thing we'll do quickly here
is just take an overall look at at
foundation landscape i gave you a couple
of numbers right as we kicked off um but
as i mentioned at that point private or
or independent foundations are the
largest portion of foundations um in our
funding cycle in the foundation market
uh and it
in the last year there they contributed
37.1 billion dollars toward all of the
foundation giving that happened um in
the last year
this has been a substantially growing
certainly over the last 40 years but
even from 2019 to 2020 we saw a 19
percent growth in the foundation market
as far as providing funding to um
entities and organizations
and what you've got here on this slide
is simply giving you some some feeling
for the types of areas that foundations
support the top five populations that
they serve and um sort of the top five
strategies or or funding uh goals that
they will support
and these are helpful to know just so
that you can start to shape your
projects to help them see that you do
serve economically disadvantaged people
for example
and that you are providing education as
well as health programming knowing sort
of what those key points are helps you
build your story to make that connection
to the funder
but before we get to
finding those funders we want to start
with the first part of the process which
is identifying and developing your
project or program
now that may sound surprising for those
of you that haven't done work in this
area that we don't first seek out the
funder but that's actually a pretty
common mistake you hear that a funder or
foundation has a
call for proposals and they've got a
certain amount of money that they're
going to
share out and so the organization says
oh let's get that money
let's let's come up with a program to to
fit that or let's let's try to wiggle
one of our programs into that
it's it's not an efficient use of your
and very often it's clear to the funder
that's what's happened
you really want to think about what you
and then work toward connecting the
funder and you won't know which funders
are right until you have that project at
least outlined or thought through
otherwise we just call that chasing the
which is exhausting for one and if
you've had if you've been in entities or
organizations where that's been a
mindset you know that that's a really
tiresome action
and it's really not very effective
so we want to begin
with the idea of
building the need
right we we call the need you know the
the reason that we need funds um in
fundraising we call that building the
case for support um though it does
include more than just identifying the
problem but but here's a hint as you
start thinking about the problem that
you want to address as an entity
you want to start with
oftentimes we'll start with we need
right we need this we need money too
and the problem as we're building the
case for support should not be that we
need money right
that's a process
the from the funders viewpoint we
are the conduit to the path to the
results that they want to achieve so
your need is more the community issue or
the problem that you're going to work to
so it shifts the focus and shows that
you've done your due due diligence
you've looked out at the sector you've
understood a little bit more about
food safety and security food
insecurities in your community and
you've identified a gap that needs to be
filled right and so we start with this
development of this need or creation or
understanding of the problem who's being
how are they being effective why are
they being effective and where does that
and and how do we know this what proof
or data do we have
that supports this problem right
we're looking at an urgent need um and
that we're the ones as has a farmers
market for example we're the ones who
are the right ones to solve this problem
or address this issue
um you we want to focus on what the
cause is of the problem or or who the
participants or beneficiaries are
not just on what we need to do
and that's part of building an effective
needs statement or or really identifying
that problem that you're setting out to
and it's also a good opportunity to
provide the support for you know we have
the staff to do this or we have the
technology or we have the equipment and
the space and so on it's okay at that
point to share what we have but it's
toward meeting this external or
community-based need
we then move into showing the solution
what are we going to do about it what
are the uh end goals and objectives
which we'll talk a little bit more about
in a minute you know what's our timeline
for for accomplishing this what
activities are going to be handled where
how are we going to spend this money
that we're you know inviting uh this
this funder to provide
uh and we want to be realistic about the
the solutions we want to we want to be
careful there's always a fine line
between building a vision of success and
over promising you know if if you're
applying for a 500 grant you don't want
to promise you're going to end hunger in
your community
that's a little overzealous
it might take a little more than that
and it might take more than a year so we
want to be realistic but we want to
maybe work toward that goal
over time and then peace out exactly
what this particular project will do
toward that bigger vision
then we want to share the results what
what do we anticipate the results will
be again we want to be realistic but
it's okay to be optimistic you know we
the funders understand that we are not
you know
future seekers we we cannot predict the
future but we can anticipate that with
you know everything lining up the way
that it's supposed to these are the
results we can expect
um and
you know then you also want to share how
you'll know that that's true so we
anticipate you know having this many
more people in our markets and you know
these many more uh people buying healthy
food choices or making healthy food
choices but how will you know that
because our funders want to understand
not only that this will change but how
you're going to determine that
and then finally they want to know the
what difference will this funding make
and so let's let's look at that just for
a moment because this is an area that is
often sort of undersold in grant
applications and i've seen that
certainly in my own application work
and more recently i've served on a lot
of funding sides
reviewing applications and proposals
and we see this often that that the
impact isn't well highlighted
and i'll use a simple example first
outside of your sector
when we hear about and we talk about
just to kind of give you the idea um the
idea of scholarships for education
programs both higher ed and you know
even in in some k-12 um examples there
are needs for scholarships so many times
an educational entity will say we need
scholarships that's the need we've
defined the need
the argument there is that the
scholarship isn't the need the
scholarship is the solution that's what
the organization can provide
through the funding but we have to back
up from that solution to say what is the
need why are scholarships necessary well
if you've looked at college tuition
lately you know the answer to that it's
expensive right and if we want equal
for anyone who's qualified and
interested to be able to attend in an
educational institution
we've got to figure out ways to move
those financial barriers that's the need
that there are financial barriers in
many cases
that prevent or impede someone from
accessing you know a higher education
institution for example
the action we need to take as you can
see here then is to reduce those
barriers and the solution is through
oftentimes though that's where the story
ends but that's not the impact
right the impact is more students get
scholarships but
the result of that is that we have more
graduates with less debt
so that's how you want to sort of build
your need action solution and impact
and if you can if you walk away from
here with nothing else hang on to this
because this really explains and and
helps you work through the exact steps
of a grant proposal
what's the need
what are you going to do about it what's
the solution and what will change
that's those are the four sort of key
areas that nearly every funder is
looking for all right
we often build this out in a in a longer
format and for those of you in
in the purdue extension system um you'll
be already familiar with the logic model
but this is a process we're not going to
get into the details up here but it's
that's what we build
most effective grant proposals on is
that idea of working through
the different steps once you've created
the need
you and you've you've defined what that
community need is
and you know what the impact or change
is that you want at the end so you've
got your need here
and you've got your impact here we've
got to show
the funder how we're going to get from a
to b
right so we start with goals and
what are you going to do and how are you
going to do it
maybe the goal is to increase the number
of people who have access to healthy
choices through education experiences
and access okay
then we move to the activities how are
we going to do that what actions are
going to happen
right maybe we're going to have
specific vegetable tastings
and maybe we're going to consider some
transportation options as part of the
so then
next we move to the outputs how will we
initially know that something is
different right
these are the immediate results how many
people attend the workshop how many
fill out a survey response and
tell us that they've tried a new
vegetable and liked it
or whatever that may be but it's those
initial numbers right so you want to
think through what are we what are we
going to do what activities are going to
happen what are the initial results of
those activities
and then we get into the outcomes and
these are those longer term results and
change okay how many more people are
returning to the market on a regular
basis you know how many more
transportation access opportunities are
there now
than there were three years ago it was a
new bus line run um do we did another
entity purchase a van to bring their you
know their residence to the market once
a month or whatever those longer term
impacts and changes would be
now once you've kind of worked through
the project and we still haven't looked
at who the funders are yet because
you've got to know a lot of this ahead
of time to be able to match up to a
strong funder
but we've also got to tell them how
we're going to do this financially which
is a budget and a budget narrative so
we've got to have both pieces of that
how are we going to spend it and the
explanation of what each of those line
items might mean for your budgeting
then we want to build a timeline so that
they understand within the terms of the
grant period what's going to happen and
this is really helpful when you're doing
lots of different things within the
organization to have this timeline so
that you don't end up scheduling the big
report at the same time as the you know
the last market of the year or you know
some other big event or or activity that
that is going to really max your time
so you build out a timeline and then you
build out your evaluation plans this is
how you're going to know it worked
and this is how you're going to keep it
going after
the funding ends right so that
sustainability portion
and here's a little hint uh as as i have
reviewed applications over the years
i have found
that a lot of times that evaluation and
sustainability piece is simply a
statement like we will seek additional
grant funding
okay well that may be the plan but that
doesn't build a lot of confidence with
the funder so get more specific about
we plan to develop and strengthen
relationships with four additional uh
potential grant funders to continue this
project outside the funding cycle or
something like that that's specific so
that you and your funder will know
that you will be successful
and completing and continuing the
project if it's a project that continues
so once you've built this project all
then it'll be time to start looking for
funders but in order to do that
you've got to kind of summarize and
build your story so
and and this is just sort of a quick way
to look at that you want to start with
this big idea this big problem or this
situation that you hope to address
um you've got this idea you're gonna
you're gonna work through the problem
you've got a solution in mind or a set
of solutions that are gonna help
you've got some results that you're
hoping to accomplish
and that leads the funder
to an understanding of how that
project's going to make a difference
and all of this needs to be developed
before you go and seek that
funder me one
all right so let's look at how we match
funders once you've done this outline
that's the time to go out and seek who's
the best match for your funding goals
to do that you were looking for a key
series of of bits of information that
you can summarize with an understanding
first of all of who have they funded who
else has been part of their funding
maybe your organization has been funded
in the past that's helpful to know if
you weren't part of that process
they have funded other organizations
like yours or maybe they haven't
but you think there's a good match
that's helpful to know ahead of time so
that you can address that as part of
your story
what kinds of things do they fund
do they fund equipment do they fund
salaries you know these are the key
things to understand so that you find
the right match if you're looking for
you know specific pieces of equipment
and you find a funder that doesn't do
that it's going to be a waste of
everyone's time for you to work on that
where do they fund are there geographic
challenges um limits restrictions
how much do they give uh you certainly
don't want to waste time on an
application when you're seeking five
thousand dollars and they typically fund
five hundred dollar gifts or going the
other way
it's not worth applying for five
thousand dollars to a funder who
typically funds fifty thousand because
they're not going to see your project as
large enough in scope to meet their
so you want that's why it's so important
to know
ahead of time what your funding looks
like what your project looks like and
what you need so that you can better
match your your funder
you also want to look at what other
groups or special populations do they
certainly that's been um i want it's not
really a change but it's a shift forward
in priority for many foundations now
as there's been a growth in the
diversity equity inclusion
movement or
audiences there are a lot more
foundations focusing in on those as
special populations they want to serve
and then the final piece is to be sure
that you understand the rules what are
the restrictions is it only funded
during a certain time are there steps
that you have to accomplish before you
get your funding
are there matching requirements there's
nothing more frustrating than getting a
grant and just learning after you've
been approved that you have to raise the
first ten thousand dollars before you
get the grant funding
that should be in the application
process and you should know that ahead
of time
what kind of reporting do they ask for
again this can be really powerful if
they're asking for monthly reports and
that's beyond the capacity of your
organization with everything else going
on so you want to be realistic about
what kind of reporting schedule do they
and can you meet that
and then of course you want to take a
look at the deadlines
while you know we're all human we all
make mistakes you want to be sure that
you are really tuned into
their deadlines and working to meet
those if at all possible and if not
then you want to be sure that you've let
them know ahead of time that you're
going to be a little bit delayed and why
and and
they'll let you know if that's something
that's acceptable
finding our funders
starts by just a quick look at the 990.
um and you can find this you can do a
google search
what we're focused on most often as
we're starting to look at funders are
things like contact information because
it may or may not be accurate on their
who their partners and other funding
partners may be
who's on their board a lot of this
information can be really helpful in
making those connections
to find out who the right funders are
going to be
and what you'll spend most of your time
are the 990 and the 990 pf
the 990 form itself is where you'll find
information about community foundations
for example and how they give that what
their assets are their total donations
the total grants that they've received
and if they make grants out into the
sometimes they will list out who those
grantors are
um private the private foundation form
the 990 pf
um those foundations are required to
list the grants that they award for a
specific fiscal year
so you'll be able to see easily everyone
who's been funded and how much they
their grants are and even the types of
projects in some cases um that were
so that's a great starting place um to
to do just a 990 search you can use um
candid which is one listed here at the
bottom of the slide as one uh resource
to do that search you can use your
favorite search engine um but there are
lots of ways to get to that information
that's a great starting point
certainly there are other resources as
well again digitally online candid has a
number of resources that you can see
here and again you're getting a copy of
presentation pdf so you'll have these
there are other digital resources as
well if you're looking at government
funding grants.gov has everything you
need to know just set aside some time so
that you can work through their
lots of other online digital resources
don't forget to also ask around
ask your other non-profit friends ask
your other
colleagues where they're gaining from
you either local and regional
publications in indianapolis i know the
ibj lists funders
um lists uh different grants that have
been received highlights non-profits so
those are good those types of resources
can be very helpful
in getting a sense of who's funding what
and who might be interested in your
project or program
you know and then again don't forget
about groups like banks um
chamber of commerce may be helpful in
something like that they they know what
their businesses are looking for
and may find help you find good partners
non-profit networks
and lots of other resources to help you
kind of think about and find these
so let's move to our final little step
here which is how we how we sort of put
this all together um you've once you've
built your project outline you've done a
little bit of research you've found some
funders who may be helpful for you
uh you've reviewed their proposal
requirements and you figured out that
you want to pursue a proposal with one
of your one of these applicants or one
of these funders um generally um funders
will or at least often i shouldn't say
it's it's not all the time but often
they will use this initial screening
process called an loi which could be a
letter of interest a letter of intent a
letter of inquiry i've even heard a
letter of introduction
technically they're not exactly the same
things but for our purposes here today
the idea is that
we send out a short letter or a short
summary of what we're proposing
so that we can get some interest we can
find out if the organization is
interested if the funder's interested
before we spend all our time on their
we might request some certain materials
or they might request some specific
it gives us a chance to outline the
project and then if that loi is approved
you are generally then invited to apply
for a full proposal or to send in a full
not every funder uses this but it's
becoming more and more common
as a way again to do some initial
screening but also to learn a little bit
more about uh potential projects and
things that they may be interested in
these are typically short you'll see
one recommendation a pretty general one
is not more than three pages um i have
seen in some cases
if there's a request for an loi they'll
ask you to do it in one
so that's again why it's so important to
have that project spelled out so that
you can pick the pieces that are going
to be most important for them to know um
and to want to learn more
so so building that again it the the
funder will have some specifics either
on their website
or through the research that you've done
to learn about how they how they request
funding um that will be helpful for you
to figure out whether you need to do
this and so what those regulations or
requirements would be
if you've been invited to submit a
proposal or maybe you're working with a
funder who doesn't require a letter of
interest or letter of intent
you want to then build your story out
again before you start filling out the
for one thing online applications have
character limits
so every word that you include needs to
serve a strong purpose
i have seen
in more and in fact i've even had some
experience in my own proposal
development where if you don't have a
good sense of how long that application
how long that particular box is for you
to fill out the answer to the question
that you get about halfway through and
you run out of characters and then
there's it's really challenging to try
to do that editing in the system
so we really strongly encourage you to
do that in
some word or or
we're processing uh software first so
that you can transfer over the
information cut and paste as needed
you also want to know your audience
and that seems a little odd
if you've identified the funder
you you know you've picked out who you
want the funding to come from but you
want to think about who's reading the
you can do a little research who's on
the board chances are pretty good it's
going to be some of the board members
that are involved in this
and you can do a little bit of research
you can look them up on linkedin you can
look them up on facebook and find out a
little bit more about them
that will help as you are building your
to see who you're writing to um for
example i serve on a community giving
group here uh i live in pensacola
florida and our group
is all women
so that could be powerful to know and
understand as you're building the
application to get funding from that
particular group um you know they're
they are they skew in a certain age
range so that again could just start to
give you some ideas it just helps you
visualize who you're writing to
that can then help you create um the the
story that you want them to know and
excuse me
we also want to understand and again you
can get into a lot more detail here but
how you build the story it's not just
facts and figures you do want to create
a story as best you can
by starting with grabbing the interest
what are the what's going to grab
someone's interest
here's a hint it's not going to be
we first started our program in 1974
right that's not an interest grabber an
interest grabber might be
um you know you introduce them to a
participant someone who is wandering
through the market
looking for or wishing they could you
know try some of these new things you
want to give something that catches the
attention and helps to identify the
in a story format that you can sort of
carry through the application because at
the end of the day these are people
reading these applications
and we want to be able to
get their interest to get gather their
desire to help make this um solution
happen that you're proposing
so it is okay to include emotions right
it's a nice place to balance between
emotion and the data facts and figures
once you get to this point you want to
review the guidelines and the processes
again online applications may have
character limits they may have time
limits there's nothing worse than
getting timed out of the application and
having to start over i can tell you that
from personal experience
and they may have other specific
requirements so you want to be sure you
read through all of the necessary
information to help understand how to
work through this the process
but as you're building ahead of time
before you start filling it out as
you're building your information this is
this is a basic format most funders will
have an outline of exactly what they
want you to submit but this is a pretty
list of what would be included you'd
have a summary this is your executive
summary this is um the sort of the short
version of what you're asking for
and the hint there is to write that last
develop the project and program first
and then summarize it
that way you can introduce them to
something that they're going to learn
more about
again your statement of need that's your
how you're going to do your program
that's your activities how you're going
to evaluate how you're going to plan the
budget how you're going to sustain the
programs and so on um if you can get
through your if you build this list
prior to creating the application you'll
be able to then just pull in the
information as needed
a couple of things here as we kind of
come to the close
some tips from
a couple of my colleagues the first is
michael stehoviak who is
um the grant development um in charge of
grant development administration for
cranberry brooklyn michigan uh but he's
been doing this work for over 20 years
has a very long list of successful
grants in his
and he has sort of these three key tips
first of all it's got to be readable
this is not a dissertation
save the fluffy language and the jargon
you want to make these concise short
paragraphs highlighting the key
information you want to link people and
ideas and budgets together so that it
all makes sense
and again footnotes and and other
um complicated processes may or may not
be allowed in the online formats
you may be able to use that a little bit
if you're still working with an entity
that prefers a written document they are
still out there
but but many more of these have moved
he also says it should be informative
you want to be able to
pick up on the gist of the proposal in
any of the different sections
in particular because not all of the
sections of the grant will be read in
in by the review committee and in some
cases they may not be read at all i've
served on committees where i was only in
charge of reading the executive summary
i didn't ever see the budget somebody
else read that and reviewed that
you know i've been in other applications
where you read through the whole thing
and then split up you know the sections
that you're going to be more responsible
for reviewing
different funders do it different ways
and so you want to be prepared and make
sure that that if they're just reaching
the budget in the budget narrative they
can still understand what the point of
the project is
and then finally he says it should be
personal um you want to include facts
and stories you want to help them
understand and feel
the problem and the solution
again not just data but not just the
story a combination of both
and then from a colleague from a
community count foundation actually down
here in florida uh in palm beach county
but pretty well representative of uh
community foundations and the kinds of
things that they are looking for
they share first you want to be sure
that you can um
that you can generate results within the
grant period
um you know so while the the dream may
be to eliminate food insecurity in your
are you gonna be able to do that for
five thousand dollars for three years
probably not so you want to be sure you
break down
what those changes are going to be or
anticipated to be toward that ultimate
okay he also or they also this this
particular group highlights um that you
want to be sure that your plan for
evaluation and measurement creates
actual results um that you're not just
saying more people will attend the
but you will you have a prediction of
how many more you anticipate
attendance will grow by 25 percent um or
you know particularly marginalized
communities will have more access to it
and and you'll want to share how that's
going to
happen how you're going to measure that
or know that
they know that we won't you know those
numbers may not be exactly what we
anticipate but when we then report it
back out that's okay
uh but we want we want them to know we
have thought about this right highlight
why you're the right one for the job
highlight why how you will leverage
those dollars
and be sure that the budget matches the
project um i i've seen this happen a few
times where someone
is applying for 500 to do a 10 000
if they don't show you where the rest of
that funding is coming from it's hard to
trust that they're really going to be
able to do that so you want to be sure
your project and and what you're asking
for matches and if you're asking for a
portion that you share how the rest of
those funds will be gained
and the last thing i'll leave you with
and again you can you can take a look at
these on your time
but just a list of key things that are
typical common mistakes
um number one most reported mistake is
that the applicant didn't follow
no matter what the grant process is
they're typically a list of directions
and i i did happen to pull up the uh let
me find which one it is here um as we
wrap the indie food fund was one example
um of a grant application that has a lot
of different steps and at the very end
of the information about the grant
is a section about if you're in
indianapolis or marion county there's a
certain thing that you have to apply for
before you'll ever be considered for any
of the rest of the funding
so read through all of the information
first and follow through because it
won't matter how amazing your your
application is if you haven't filled it
haven't done this one particular part of
the application you may be thrown out
and they may never see your application
so that's the number one mistake that's
reported now the number one most
irritating mistake that we hear about
from funders all over um is typos
it seems
you know i mean we all make them it
happens but you definitely want to have
someone else read your work right use
some of those proofreading strategies we
learned way back in the day
to go back through and make sure that
typos are you know as best as you can um
are fixed or clean
you want to make sure your budget
there are people on these review
committees who are your math quizzes who
are going to check your math so you want
to be sure the math adds up and makes
and that the amount you're asking for
matches the range that they're going to
fund right and then you want to pay
attention to the timelines you want to
pay attention to the deadlines and you
want to be sure that you ask for the
right you want to be sure that you say
we are looking for funding of five
thousand dollars to solve this issue you
know you want to spell out that that you
are in fact asking for funding um so
again lots of different things to keep
in mind that's a very quick zip through
the process
i hope that it's been helpful as you as
you think about preparing your grant
proposals searching for funders and
preparing that proposal process working
through that process
certainly if you want to learn more i
will tell you the fundraising school
here at the lilly school of philanthropy
does offer a fundraising firm
foundations and grant management course
as well as one on fundraising from the
business sector if you're looking for
corporate partners and in fact we have
20 other courses online and in person
around the country
we host free weekly podcasts quarterly
webinars and many other fundraising
programs as well
so my friends thank you for your time
and your attention today keep doing the
amazing work that you are doing in the
field for us and know that the 1.5
million or so of us in the nonprofit
sector really are making the world
so thank you for your time and i am
happy to answer a few questions
i think we have one
teresa do you want to unmute and ask
your question
uh i was actually cheering
raise my hand but i want to thank
everyone for just just a real quick
introduction i'm with iupui in the
office of community engagement and i
want to thank you all for being here and
i'm apologize for being late because
guess what i was doing some fundraising
work so
i was a little late um but looking
forward we have two other sessions in
this series and looking forward to
seeing all of you at those so i'll get
out of the way for real questions
so if anybody has a question please
unmute or type it into the chat we do
um we do have time
i know kathy and i go back a ways when
we started grant writing way back when
and um yeah please feel free to ask
kathy anything
you're also welcome to drop my email
down if a question comes up later and
it's something i can help with i am more
than happy to do that
so so know that that's available to you
as well i'll give you a second there
there's also a nice little qr code we've
gotten all high tech
just very recently at the fundraising
school so that'll take you to course
information if you want to learn more
and i will share this in an email the
pdf for the presentation in the handout
that kathy shared with us so you'll be
receiving a follow-up email
from me in a day or two
well um
i think you did an awesome job
we don't have any questions so i just
want to thank kathy and teresa
for providing this opportunity and this
wonderful information and please reach
out to kathy if you have any questions
and we look forward to seeing you all
this is our last
monthly webinar for the year and we'll
see everyone in january 2022 so thank
you to everyone and
During this interactive webinar, Charlotte Westerhaus-Renfrow, M.Ed, JD, with Indiana University's Kelly School of Business, will share what prevents us from having courageous conversations. In addition, you will develop your ability to effectively use verbal and non-verbal communication to conduct participative cross-generational conversations. Learn how to handle conflict like a pro, approach difficult conversations with confidence, and boost your skills to generate change by attending this synergistic webinar!  

Description of the video:

all right well hello and welcome to the
indiana farmers market community of
practice webinar courageous
conversations confrontation without
conflict i am christina ferolli the
grants program coordinator for the
indiana cooperative development center
with us today we have charlotte
westerhouse renfro who has a masters in
education and a law degree and is an
assistant clinical professor
in the department of management and
business law
dean faculty fellow and the faculty
chair of undergraduate programs at
kelley school of business in
where she teaches business law
negotiations team dynamics leadership
diversity and organizations and cultural
charlotte is an indiana university
bicentennial professor a title earned by
only 24 other faculty in the indiana
university system
in addition charlotte has is a
co-recipient of the charles vance
chancellor community scholar award
the evening mbta teaching
sorry evening mba teaching excellence
award the otison teaching award the
iupui athletics favorite professor award
won twice
and the indiana bicentennial medal for
the extraordinary extraordinary service
and impact she has had at indiana
university and its communities
charlotte has dedicated much of her
career speaking and providing meaningful
counsel to businesses nonprofits and
educational institutions on how to
create innovative and inclusive cultures
charlotte has her jd from the mower
school in bloomington and earned her bs
in journalism and
med from ohio university i want to
remind everyone to please remain muted
during the presentation
and you may drop your questions in the
chat or if you have a burning question
and like charlotte to answer you please
use the um the icons and raise a little
hand and we'll get to you and
and have you ask your question
also you may have um you may have to
print the
conflict management style assessment
tool that was emailed to you earlier
this morning to complete the assessment
so thank you and welcome charlotte
thank you christina for that fantastic
introduction and indeed i do feel very
very welcome
and excited to be meet with you today
now before we get started uh one of the
things i really like about your
organization is yes i am an avid
participant or shopper at farmers
um my parents are from a southern state
they were they they raised me in
cleveland but they were raised in
southern states uh and it used
embarrassing so bad but we had always
had a huge half acre garden in the city
at our house
and so
for me the idea of going to the farmer's
market and if you're anywhere in
cleveland it's called a west side market
back in the day when i was a child it
was humongous what you call a farmer's
market there and that's where we got all
our fresh fruits our vegetables our
meats our jellies and our jams and so
i'm a real real advocate and i now live
in a part of my in indianapolis where i
have lots of shade trees the only thing
i can grow is hostas the only thing i
attract is deer so
one day saying i'm gonna go out and give
me a half acre and uh or until then i'm
gonna be frequenting many of the
fantastic farmer markers that are in the
so let's go ahead and get started and i
love your logo i had to put it on the
front page
it's very very very very vibrant not
only the vegetables the honey the
flowers all of that yes i i really like
it a lot
now before we go into the courageous
conversation the conversation part let's
start with courage
the key to
courage and i am going to ask a few
questions of you but first let me do
this i'm going to do this very very
what do you think of or who do you think
when you hear the word
usually what comes to mind
if we're not thinking about someone of
course in our family we think of heroes
folks that through their courage
changed politics
saved lives did something significant
that had a huge impact on a great enough
amount of people
uh you look up there on your screen to
the left nelson mandela who
in his and being in prison for almost
half or more in his life came out and
ended our apartheid
we've got the pilot who actually took a
plane and landed it and one way someone
said it was a one in almost 1.2 million
chance he was going to land that plane
in the river i think the hudson river
outside new york and yet he did it
mother teresa
same way someone extremely peaceful
working in adverse conditions in her in
her country of india
phantom full of disease
saving people firefighters who run in
continually run into the face of the
they know if they don't if they don't go
in people will die and actually has the
real prospect of killing them but they
do it to save lives i think amelia
earhart i don't go anywhere without my
phone in my map quest right but she went
into a plane and would fly over oceans
without any idea as far as a map and all
she had was a compass
and she did it when basically there
weren't any women or female role models
courage we think also if we go back in
the history of our country the aftermath
of 9 11
and what happened in new york city and
the individuals who were common citizens
not to mention the paramedics and
who save lives and also perish but
common citizens helping each other out
and finally let's think about what's
going on right now in the wave of this
many front line workers whether they be
in the medical profession whether they
be teachers i actually saw a special uh
last night on a news uh broadcast where
police officers a great number of them
are dying because of their being first
responders in the era of covet
yes when we think of courage we think of
a lot of people but here's the question
for you
let's bring it on home let's bring it to
what you're probably doing right now
how courageous are you
at work
and i'll do a little bit of a poll a
very quick poll
and you can go into the chat and maybe
i'll check the chat out here in a minute
and see how who responds to this poll
um but i'm gonna ask you this quick
more courageous
and now i think i will go into into the
who doesn't know i guess i will who's
more courageous
oh it says here the slides did not load
are you saying that christina
yeah for some reason
it says resume slideshow
okay let me just stop right now
just refresh
okay i'ma stop let me stop the share
let me
okay i'm sorry about that glad you
caught me
let's go into
just a minute here
no that didn't work
we will get this
can you can you see that
good okay let's do this
they were up
before and then and then they stopped
let's see what we're gonna do here
you should be able to share
i'm gonna do it now and share the screen
and it's not there
which means i'm going to open it again
just one sec
let's open
let's go like this
i'm gonna go to slideshow
from current slide
let me go here
share screen
can you see it now
yes perfect thank you
no problem let's see
let's go
and are you seeing the full screen or
the slides on the side
the full screen
so let's see if we can catch up
well now the full screen is a full
screen moving nope
okay let's see here
okay just a second before it's moving on
my side let me just go here
so one more thing
there we go no now we're on panel
now you're on panel let me see here
okay let's try one more time let's do
okay what do you see now
oh just a second
i'm trying to
do you see it you see it now
let me see
is it moving
yes it is you're good now okay very good
not sure what happened but you know what
sometimes zoom can play some tricks on
you thank you for your patience out
okay quick question quick very quick
out there among you and you can go on
the chat to answer this who of you
is more courageous are you more
are your co-workers more courageous
so if you out there
and are you seeing the full screen here
i i see the slide deck on the side but
well it works you can leave it it's fine
let's see if we can do it now
i wonder why that's doing that
it just advanced this way it's fine okay
anyway are you more courageous or are
your colleagues more courageous
and that's the question we want to be
able to answer here who is more
well i'm going to go here and tell you
something anyway let me get you oh oh
the chest the chest is lighting up let
me see co-workers co-workers co-workers
co-workers who is more courageous
co-workers co-workers
beth you're right it depends
but if you had a guest gina i should say
bethesda's right who is more courageous
i'm leaning
that's what she says but i'm leaning
well i'll tell you really quickly who is
actually more courageous
and what research
shows and this is what research shows
and i'm going to try to do it like this
you don't see as much as the screen
there we go
on average
on average research shows
that employees think they're more
courageous than their coworkers
and the research is done on
employees that's what we do in business
we do research on individuals in
so 74 percent of employees think they're
actually more courageous so if that's
the case you might be asking yourself
so why are you here
why do we actually have this particular
presentation why are you here if you
truly believe you're more courageous
why even have this workshop
well here's the reasons why
and once again
i'm having difficulties
let's do this there we go
why are you here
well you're here because to be quite
honest with you the three hardest
conversations we face in our lives are
work related the three hardest
conversations that you have are at your
and they deal with these things
research shows for the average worker
all right
the hardest conversations 33 of them
have to do with salary
whether you have to ask for a salary
or whether you have been asked to give
these are hard courageous conversations
31 of employees surveyed in a national
survey said the hardest conversation is
dealing with inappropriate behavior from
your co-workers
very difficult conversations to have
even though you may in fact think you're
more courageous
and then finally and all these are
really close together a third of the
average workers believe that when you
have to either give or receive
poor feedback on job performance
that is a stressful situation and it
needs a courageous conversation
what happens when people have these
courageous conversations well there is a
huge emotional toll
there is stress there is anxiety
even just knowing the conversation is
coming up 66 of these same
american workers said they feel stressed
even before they even have the
conversation and then that is why many
of them shy away from having the
the anxiety and stress prior to having
why do we shy away from this
conversation what makes perfect sense of
number one reason that we shy away from
these conversations number one
research shows is fear
and what are the main causes of fear
main causes of fear what are those
causes of fear but for the most part
and this is the same
average american worker
not knowing how the other person will
respond causes a lot of stress
causes to shy away from having
courageous conversations
then there's an issue of communication
31 of the work of workers out there
they're really worried about am i able
to able to get my point across
to the person i'm having this courageous
conversation about whether it be about
inappropriate behavior or feedback on
the job
another area where people are are our
causes people to be fearful is i don't
want to be in a confrontational
situation how many of us get up in the
morning and say wow i can't wait to go
to work
and have a conversation with a colleague
and it's going to be confrontational
this causes us to shy away from those
difficult conversations
and another thing that causes us and
causes a lot of fear is we don't want to
get upset or emotional and we don't want
the other person to get upset or
that is tied almost with
not being able to get the point across
and being in a confrontational situation
and finally
we don't want to get us that once again
and we don't want the other person to
get upset if you put those two
percentages together the vast majority
of folks have a lot of fear
and it has a lot to do with emotions
so how can we stop this
how can we stop all this fear and have
a conflict have a constructive
courageous conversation
but first it has to find what is a
courageous conversation
christina mentioned i have a law degree
so what i always try to do is to make
sure that i give foundational
so we're all on the same page for this
particular workshop a courageous
is a discussion between two or more
two or more people
you can't have this conversation just
with yourself
where number one the stakes are high
so this workshop is going to be dealing
with those conversations you have with
another person or more where the stakes
are high
and you know going into this
that opinions are going to differ
that people are not going to perhaps
with you
and third a courageous conversation
stakes are high opinions are different
will differ
strong emotions are present at
the onset or before the conversation
and finally strong emotions are
happening during the conversation this
a courageous conversation okay
how can you have this conversation that
knowing for the most part what people
will deal with is conflict
that conflict is where individuals
opinions differ
so you're having this courageous
conversation when there is is
conflict disagreement
and most importantly what this conflict
and please focus on this
conflict is where there's a disagreement
to which parties involved and the key
word is perceived
they perceive a threat
maybe they don't even know if a threat
is there but because opinions differ
they perceive that there's going to be a
threat to three things
their needs or your needs
their interest or your interests
their concerns or your concerns
a threat to a need is something that
typically is quantifiable it's what is
what you really really want
all right and you think there's going to
be disagreement that i want one thing
and the other party wants something else
now an interest a perceived threat to an
interest is a threat to why you want it
and this is really where conflict comes
why do you want what you want
typically drives those emotions you're
afraid that the why won't be satisfied
and or there's a threat to
your concerns or their concerns
now i'm going to go through what i call
a typical
courageous conversation
you decide i'm going to have this
courageous conversation
and you want to start out nice
you start out nice you really planned it
and then you get past the greetings you
get into the courageous part the part
was conflict
and then because of that
it starts to turn fierce okay and this
is how it goes okay
let's start with a small print here
you start the conversation like this
what's wrong here can we just get along
and the other person says well you know
no big deal
i should just let it go
there's no need to make a fuss
well then you respond saying and this is
where we start still crazes
i was kind of hoping it wouldn't come to
but i guess i better speak up before it
gets too late
before it gets too late what does that
trigger the other person emotions and
they respond well look
before i hear what you have to say i'm
gonna talk may i be totally honest with
and then you come back and your
and you say wait a minute thanks for
sharing your perspective although you
haven't heard the perspective you're
saying now may i share mine get a little
fierce in here
the other person says well let me start
by telling you where i'm coming from on
this and then i want to hear from you
what's the response i know it's going to
hurt but i don't know how else to tell
you this and anytime you hear i don't
know how to tell you this you know
you're getting emotional you really
ought to know the other person says okay
i have to be brutally honest here with
you really honest uh-oh
and then finally hey look i'm just
saying what's true
if you can't handle it that's your
problem and by the way we haven't had a
there's been perceived threats all over
the place
no one has shared
what is wrong and what is going on and
at that point you have this
a huge explosion the relationship blows
it's atomic
and that's why people
actually veer away from or fearful of
courageous conversations
so i'm going to go through a series of
slides and talk to you on how to
facilitate and engage in courageous
where there are really strong feelings
there are differences of opinions
right and emotions are high
now first thing i'm going to ask you to
do in this is you got in um as an
attachment from christina your conflict
management style and i would say this is
your conflict management
your confidence management
preference and if i could just for a
second i'm going to ask you all to do
if you have a pencil or pen and a piece
of paper i want you to use it
and even if you don't have a pencil or
pen i want you to use your finger and i
want you to
do this
sign your name
just sign your name on a piece of paper
like you were signing a contract in the
old days we used to have checks just
sign your name
and if you don't have a piece of paper
use the hand that you usually use
to sign your name
are we all doing that
give me your hands up give me a thumbs
up are we signing our name out there
thank you thank you lizzy i like that
thank you thank you thank you just sign
your name
now take that pin
or your finger or your hand and move it
to the other hand
and sign your name
use the other hand or if you're using
your hand sign your name
now typically if i was there in person
i'd be hearing groans and moans
and head shaking
seriously you know you did it jenny
did you feel comfortable when you
switched hands
did you really like how it felt when you
switched hands
now did you like how it looked when you
switched hands
he says thumbs down and that is really
bpc i like that face thank you anyway
that is really now i gotta figure out
where i was on the other slideshow here
i'm gonna go back to the slideshow here
there we go
that is really the just of
a preference
a preference is what you do
when you don't even think about it
so when we go through these five
preferences in conflict management it's
like being right hand or left hand if
you had your natural preference your way
and it's built on your predisposition
it's built on how everything from values
how your race your personality but if
you had your way
to handle a courageous conversation what
style would you use and what styles make
you uncomfortable especially if the
other person is using that style
so the very first style that comes up
on that assessment you have is
there are some of you all who are
natural teddy bear
a natural teddy bear
now next accommodating folks
and actually i call this a hoosier
persona we are known in
for being accommodating and being very
much into hospitality
and what teddy bears do is they ignore
their needs
and they resolve conflict by focusing on
the other person's needs
they give in to others
they're not very assertive
they're very cooperative they they win
the relationship and they lose whatever
is the nature of the
now teddy bears just like all teddy
bears are wonderful to have because who
doesn't want to be around somebody who
wants to maintain great relationships
however if you're having a
or i should say a courageous
conversation if you need to have a
courageous conversation this
conversation for the teddy bear will
probably not be very productive because
they're always giving in
and if a person
has a different style
they may take advantage of the teddy
now you may be and i actually i like
this style because it's not me
not by nature i want to say this a
negotiation style
is a preference for basically finding
win-win solutions
you focus on the goals and the
now i just admitted to you that
naturally i'm going to talk about i'm
competitive we're getting there
naturally if i have my way i'm
competitive but if you are going to be
excellent at having courageous
conversations you have to be right hand
left-handed in other words
i have to learn
when and how to be collaborative because
that might be the best
strategy the best confrontational
management style
now the advantage from being
collaborative and we all need to be
to be the most successful and courageous
conversation even though that may not be
our preference
is that both sides get what they want
but the disadvantage is this takes a lot
of time
it does and it takes both parties
agreeing to be collaborative
if the other party is not going to be
collaborative if the other party is
going to be competitive this won't work
so this takes a lot of upfront before
the conversation
very courageous conversation to build
but if both parties can agree to be
collaborative you usually usually will
expand the options to have
a great conversation and and basically
actually don't need courage because
you'll have a win-win
the next style is the competitive style
and i said i admit if i have my way i am
competitive i love sports by nature yes
i'm a shark i admit it i'm a shark
there are some good things about having
sharks on your team it's good to be
competitive it's the american way
actually especially in business
put relationships however at the lowest
priority and in business that's not
always good especially if you have to
work with these individuals on a day-in
day-out basis
the sharks have a need to win almost at
any cost
they come across as being autocratic
authoritarian and uncooperative
threatening intimidating
there's advantages of having sharks in
courageous conversations and sometimes
if you have a certain rule for instance
somebody has to be at work on time
there really can't be no collaboration
you may have to be a shark in that
confrontational situation
so if your decision is right and being
then this is the best way to go
but remember if you're a shark all the
time in every courageous conversation no
all right your goal
you might bring hostility
and resentment
towards you in the workplace
and finally there's this other style
here and this is called avoiding and we
all know folks like this oh no we're not
going to have a conversation not at all
no conversation
i hear no evil see no evil speak no evil
i really am going to avoid
any kind of confrontation that takes
courage or potential confrontation
now there's an advantage sometimes to be
a turtle
sometimes you really want to maintain
the relationship
at all costs so you walk away
and there's some confrontations maybe
you should walk away it may not be worth
the risk
but the disadvantage is if there's real
conflict there
that needs to be resolved somebody's
coming to work late all the time
and you avoid
all right that courageous conversation
that person will continue to come to
work late
and be quite honest with you you won't
gain a lot of respect
even when you try to go back and have
uh a collaborative
conversation or competitive conversation
the person just walks away because they
know that by nature you avoid
so i'm going to go with this particular
screen and this is the screen and i know
you have a pdp pdf of this and christine
has it i try to tell folks if there was
any uh a powerpoint slide that i would
keep and put away in a drawer somewhere
this is it
it's good to know what your style is you
now know what your style is but it's
even better i think but you know when to
use it
or when to use another style
so i'm going to show you really quickly
this matrix that can help you
in learning how and when
to use
the styles we didn't go through
compromise compromise is usually a
person who likes to go 50 50.
so when should you use the style
well if you look at this
this quadrant here
on the left side you see
the importance of the relationship from
to high
on the bottom okay
going horizontally you'll see
the importance of the outcome
low to high
in trying to select a strategy or a
management style
and you need to prepare this before you
go into the courageous conversation
there's two things you need to think
how important number one how important
is this relationship
to me and the other person at the end of
this conversation how important is it
very very important or not important
number one
the number two as you prepare for this
courageous conversation
you think to yourself how important is
the outcome
and then you jot that down
how important is the relationship how
important is the outcome
now using this this quadrant here if the
relationship at the end of this
conversation courageous conversation if
it's not important to you at all
and you really don't care
very low importance on the outcome of
this conversation
it may be a good idea to avoid it i mean
you don't have a relationship with the
person and you don't want to and you
really don't care about the subject
matter you're going to talk about and
near do they
well why even have
why even have this conversation
okay that's not a courageous
conversation that's an unproductive one
next you think to yourself well wait a
minute this relationship charlotte is
extremely high at the end of the day i
have to work with this person i want to
have a good working rapport and
and you know what i really
ah the outcome is not as important to me
it may be more important to them but
it's not important to me
if that is the scenario then you are
going to use the accommodating
resolution or strategy for your
courageous conversation you're going to
actually lose the outcome
give up something on the outcome because
you're working to win
and maintain a good relationship
that's when you want to be accommodate
within that courageous conversation
now what if you say well the
relationship is extremely high to me at
the end of the day at the end this
conversation i want and the other person
wants to have a great relationship
we both want to have a good outcome
that's when collaboration works up here
with the wise old out
this is a win-win we win the
relationship and we win the outcome it
takes a little bit more time it takes
agreement from both of us
but that's the way to go
on how we work through
any conflict we have
and have a courageous conversation and
finally that finally
almost finally
if you really don't care about the
at the end of the day think about the
last time you bought a car from a
or you sold a car to a stranger
or perhaps you bought or sold a house to
a perfect stranger not someone in your
family or friend
the end of the day the relationship may
not be as important as you're trying to
work through who's paying closing costs
or how much money you have to put down
or what are you gonna have when car as
far as options that the relationship is
not that important you want the best
deal and the other party wants the best
outcome is very important to you the
price is very important too delivery is
very important to you
now you're going to want to be
now you're going to want to be
competitive and there are sometimes even
within the workplace
this is important
however be careful see where this arrow
goes to rob and khan and there should be
a little corner here and competitors
call unethical
the unethical behavior become too
competitive not caring about the other
party and then there actually are things
that are illegal
like robbie and connie when someone
calls you on the phone and says i got a
great deal for you all you got to do is
give me your social security number they
don't care about you
they just want a high outcome of your
now in the middle here is compromise
you probably think that's a good
strategy it's good it can be
accommodating collaborative we can avoid
it actually might even be competitive
but be careful on a compromise
only split the difference
okay on something that's not going to
cost you a lot if you're offering it and
only accept the split
if what the half you're getting means
something to you
so that's compromise
are there any questions in regards to
the strategies
i'm gonna go here any questions okay
quick question
if for those of you who have a spouse or
partner or even a child and remember the
good old days we used to go to a movie
what if that partner's
spouse or child wanted to go to a movie
and you really didn't want to see it but
you went anyway
i'm going to stop to share
what of all these styles would you be
using i'm going to go back to share for
a minute would you be using
accommodating collaborative competitive
and you put this in the chat
let me see what i'm going to do here on
the chat here
okay let's see we got a chat it looks
like a comedy oh yeah christina this is
this is a smart group absolutely if
you're in my class you all would have
got 100
yes you would lose
use accommodating
um but let me guess you another question
what if you did this time after time
after time you always gave in
right because you're losing what
maybe two hours at a movie because you
want a relationship with this person
but what if
you finally finally did this
and then you turn competitive
what do you think would have let's say
you're doing it with your spouse or your
partner and you're accommodating just to
go along going along and then maybe
after a year or two of these awful
movies you say that's it i've had it
i've always wanted to tell you i hate
these movies i'm going to my movie what
would happen to the relationship at that
stop sharing going to the chat
what would happen to the relationship oh
like that if you choose a dinner yeah
compromising they would be mad at you
yes laura remember that atomic bomb
remember that
i need to establish some boundaries yeah
it would likely hurt no it would
actually if you did this for a long long
time it would do more than that when
people actually trust you
sometimes when we accommodate and all of
a sudden we turn competitive people are
like who are you
i thought i knew you
i thought you were accommodating
so what i'm trying to say with this is
it's great to be accommodating and
accommodating accommodating but be
be careful
because if you're too accommodating in
business and in relationships and all of
a sudden you have to be competitive a
person will actually not trust you as
sometimes it is good to actually
work toward collaboration and if you
have to tell someone you gotta be at
work on time and then all of a sudden
the boss tells you look you're letting
so and so slip and the next day you say
to other person well i know i've been
letting you come in to work late for the
last two years but now if you come in
late you'll get fired
relationships are really ruined at that
point so be careful with comedy and i
say that because accommodating is what
most of us are actually and a lot of us
who are females especially we are
encouraged to be extremely accommodating
and then sometimes we have to be
competitive and people really think what
is going on here
let's do this let's go with uh how good
are you at reading people let's see how
much time we have what we got we got to
so greeting people is this
and you're in you're in a courageous
conversation and you see this person how
many of you all think that she's happy
with how the conversation is going
and how many of you all think she's not
happy so if you're happy say happy not
happy say not happy in the chat
let's see what's going on in the chat
she's happy happy happy
well yeah
happy happy somebody said not happy oh
let me go back up let me see who said
not happy
you are probably more right than wrong
and you know why
look at her eyes
i teach negotiations
there's one thing that
doesn't contract or contracts naturally
when you smile and that's your eyes when
you smile unless you have a lot of botox
and don't do too much botox because
nobody's gonna trust you when you smile
and you really need it
crinkles of your eyes
your eyes will crinkle
your eyes will sparkle
she is smiling and there's nothing wrong
with her smile she may be smiling and
let you know to continue talking she may
be smiling in order to be polite but it
doesn't mean she's happy and it doesn't
mean she is agreeing with you so when
you're having this courageous
conversation make sure you ask questions
even of the smiling face
that's tip number one okay just ask
questions and ascertain and make sure
the person really is happy with how
things are going okay and i know you've
all seen this if you've ever done it
you've seen your child or a partner
spouse or friend you've seen a picture
of them when they were faking that smile
the reason you knew the foul would smile
was fake because their eyes gave it away
uh what about this person
how do you think the conversation is
going for this person not so good
well it's not going so good what parts
of the face tell you that the
conversation is not going well what do
you see on his face can tell you it's
not going well you put that in the chat
eyebrows eyebrows eyebrows he looks
worried forehead he's losing the game
yep sweaty yep
yeah this is this is a hand on the mouth
this is that yeah eyebrows lifted
covering now it could be there's no air
conditioning in the room you'll need to
check ray's eyebrows the hand on the
mouth but obviously
even his glasses are even foggy
he's thinking
but his body is giving away rachel he's
thinking his body you're giving away
potential clues of
anger or disappointment
because the body temperature raises when
we're angry and if you look very
carefully in his glasses they're fogging
up that's and his face is a little red
and even for dark complexion folks folks
like myself
when we get you know the anger comes up
we get heated that's why that's what i
mean by are you getting heated
so this is a sign the conversation may
be getting a little bit on the
confrontational side and then finally
what do you think about this young lady
how things going well
in this particular courageous
conversation how many things people
think on the chat that things are going
i like it leaning toward yeah a little
tense you're right focused
yeah very focused
you know something
i like it complacent competitive this is
the most difficult one to read you know
what you all could be right this is what
i call the mona lisa
i teach my negotiators to use this
because nobody can really get what
you're thinking
and so once again this is the one where
you've got to ask some more probing
questions make sure a person understands
make sure there's agreement this is the
best what i call whole professional
poker face and i really do train people
to use this in negotiations
all right
it also helps if you have to use it if
you're surprised you don't show it if
you're confused you don't show it
it is called what i call the mona lisa
so yes once again all the things you
said could be all those emotions so
that's why you need to ask questions and
maybe change your negotiation approach
very good
third what do you do
like three what do you really want and
we gotta move it just a little bit as
far as the next step so one your style
you know your style two you have to be
able to read people
know the negotiation
what it is you really want and also know
that what you want may come through and
in your emotions
are you overly eager
you have to know depending on what you
really want how does your body react
what happens if you're stumped and you
can't get what you want
conflict and courageous conversation
emotion is always there courageous
conversation is an emotive sport
sometimes your tensions tend to rule the
more you know about what you really want
the more you plan about what your
strategy is going to be
the more you understand that you can be
read based on your non-verbals the
better you'll be for your preparing for
your negotiation
next okay
and this is the one we talked about in
the very beginning i think it was 31
time for 31 and 30 percent of folks have
the most fear the most emotion the most
negativity when they think about
giving or receiving
feedback on a performance
so we're going to go there
uh now before i go into this let's think
about feedback this way i try to pick
pictorials on my powerpoints that
actually kind of display or represent
that yes indeed feedback does help us
but you have to be careful in your
courageous conversation how you give
that feedback and you also need to be
just just as cognizant on how you
receive the feedback okay
so let's start out with this
even though we know that feedback is a
positive thing it helps us grow
we basically for the most part avoid it
and that's what the research showed so
i'm going to give you some tips on how
to give feedback in a courageous
conversation and then tips on how to
actually receive feedback so the
conversation is very very productive
all right
first thing you want to do when you are
giving feedback
all right while you're giving the
feedback is you clearly understand what
is the problem
take all emotions out of it
what is the real issue maybe this person
has done things in the past that maybe
have gotten you emotionally hooked or
but is that the real issue
when you give feedback you want to
ground yourself and you want this is you
most people are like you know charlotte
tell me what to do for for the other
person how i can control the other
person the first person you have to
control and giving feedback is you
what gets you hooked the other person
may know it are there certain phrases
that get you hooked is it when someone
rolls their eyes all of a sudden your
emotions tend to go up
what are things that are bothering you
and getting you hooked and then you got
to unhook or d undetached those
i mean when i'm giving feedback and
someone rolls their eyes i'm like say
what no
if they roll their eyes that's their
we have an issue to resolve in this
courageous conversation and i will not
let that take me off track
ground yourself if you have any
assumptions and you don't have all the
facts get rid of the assumptions
any assumptions
things like i know this person is going
to be able to take this courageous
conversation well because they are such
a such a strong person they may be
having an awful day or something at home
tragic has happened
or really you're making assumptions
about how they're going to receive
what are your emotions
and why
deal with your emotions before you work
with others
make sure you write down i tell people
write this down what is the purpose of
this conversation
and plan how will i start it
there's really nothing worse i think
sometimes to start a courageous
conversation with how's the weather
this is not about the weather i'm going
to give you some tips too on how to do
this conversation the next slide too as
well i actually give you a script
and then finally
just make sure you get a sense of you
know if i have this conversation what do
i want to happen what will probably
happen but maybe what will happen if i
don't have it
and if the answer is very little then
you know what small relationship outcome
right small outcome you need to avoid it
now how do we receive
and receiving feedback and giving
feedback i'm going to give you a
scenario and this is a value statement
that'll help you with both
both of these as far as receiving
feedback and giving feedback will help
once again
take a picture of this
save this slide
research shows it works
when i coach individuals they come back
and tell me it works i've had some of my
clients use this on their three or four
year old
child at home or grandchild and they say
it works
write this down
two sentences
articulate your values and giving and
receiving feedback with two sentences
i am
or i believe or i feel
when you
because period
i would prefer that now i will tell you
why this is so important these two
usually in a courageous conversation
we're really ready to tell the person
what's wrong so when i talk to my
students i'll say i
all right
i am
and i believe you're being disrespectful
when you come to class late
because when you come in the door slams
and makes a lot of noise and my students
and our student evaluations tell me that
distracts their learning
that typically is where most people
would stop you tell the person what's
the problem
but that's not a courageous conversation
a courageous conversation is when you
tell the other party what you would
now you have action
so you tell the party what you feel
needs to change
because of why it needs to change and
then you say
i would prefer
that if you come to class late you sit
in the back row
and be as quiet as possible if there's a
and then you stop the conversation stop
what you're saying that point and then
you listen
once again most courageous conversations
turn fierce with just the first sentence
so what's the other part is supposed to
but isn't it all about you wanting to
the other parties either actions or
and you want to actually give them a
chance to dismiss the conflict you do
that by giving them a choice of what you
i would prefer that
this is a very powerful way of giving
and receiving feedback and additionally
when you receive feedback make sure and
i'm gonna go through the last six
minutes with this
when you're receiving feedback
please pay attention
we judge ourselves by our intentions and
others by their actions
make sure as you're listening to the
you're actually listening to the
all right and not reacting to the
emotions that are attached to the
try to detach yourself from any internal
triggers lean in
and listen
also too when you're receiving feedback
we typically we resist it and this is
where the courage comes in or people say
i don't have the courage to do it
because i don't think they're going to
actually receive it
we resist feedback if we think it's
that's natural and we often take offense
and get angry because we believe it's
wrong but see the questions on the right
this diffuses the emotion and this truth
trick trigger
diffuses the emotion so you can listen
maybe turn away from being more
competitive to be more accommodating or
collaborative ask yourself these
questions or two questions
where is this feedback coming from
is it coming from a real
quantifiable demonstrative something
that you know basically i did
where is it coming from is it coming
from someone who is
been a supportive coach is it coming
from someone who even knows the
if they don't know the situation of
course the feedback is wrong
but you ask yourself these questions and
then number two you ask is it coming
from a place of
appreciation sometimes people will tell
or give you hard truth
because i appreciate the fact that you
might change
another person may be giving you the
hard truth and feedback because they're
trying to coach you and help you grow
or perhaps this is an evaluation and the
only way you're going to grow is to know
the truth
understand the type of feedback
and then ask clarifying questions like
where is it coming from
is this appreciation are you evaluating
me are you trying to get me to grow
be sure you understand
what the person is trying to tell you
and then most importantly to understand
the why
especially in the relationship we also
resist feedback we think the person is
giving it
they have questionable motives
we don't trust their motives and they
lack credibility because they don't know
the facts
so in those cases where you're resisting
the feedback because of that we think
the person is doing it because their
motives are questionable or they lack
credibility ask these two questions
maybe both both of us have something
we've both done something at fault here
maybe both of us have contributed to
this type of feedback that is
or last credibility so have i given any
kind of input or my actions contributed
to this feedback
and the relationship type of trigger
make sure you're clear on your roles are
you my supervisor are you my co-worker
are you my friend
are you my
all right in this relationship what are
our roles
and are these roles inherently in
conflict with one another
that's a deep one are they inherently in
conflict with each other as far as the
all right
if someone is giving you feedback that's
questionable who's a co-worker
what what is their role in this
it was someone who's your supervisor
what is their role in this is there a
conflict there
very important question to ask
and then finally a trigger that help
that makes us resist um feedback is when
we feel attacked
and we feel attacked on a personal level
we're going to resist that feedback
even when this happens
even when this happens it's very
important to control your emotions and
notice how you're feeling
put on that mona lisa smile
they're attacking you personally
but you cannot lose the ability to focus
and think you're you're reacting based
on what we call the limbic part of your
brain that's attached to your spine and
that's attached to emotions and feelings
versus the frontal lobe
separate your feelings
separate the story they're telling you
and separate any feedback that you're
going to get from your emotions this is
where calm really comes into play i love
you all our football fans i'm a huge
football fan but back in the day when
tony dungy used to coach the
indianapolis colts and there was a bad
call against his team i never saw him
his temper publicly
never did
now those eyes could kill i'm telling
them sidelines
but this is where you really have to
pull yourself together when you're being
personally attacked force yourself to
consider the struggles of the person
maybe the problem is them and not you
have empathy
all right protect yourself with the
truth but don't let your emotions
play into it
and then as we're coming towards the end
you need to stop
and listen
feedback is the most difficult one of
the most difficult ways to have a
courageous conversation especially when
you're receiving it so you have to
listen it through
don't think about the reply
before you even hear all of it listen
mona lisa face watch for your
and watch for the nonverbals 86 of
communication is non-verbal
so you've got to watch that and make
sure you have fully understand the
also ask either beginning the
conversation or at the end of this
courageous conversation can you have the
ability to ask clarifying questions and
i would call it clarifying questions now
i have some questions i want to ask you
i demand to be able to respond and i'll
say you know i need clarity can you help
i need clarity can you help me
and then finally
what about your comfort zone
courageous conversations can be and
often are
but that's the biggest opportunity for
grow and i use this picture because this
is a real picture of a little plant that
was in my driveway or very much similar
to it impatient it was very similar to
that the little sea fell on the crack
from the year before a pot i had
and it grew and grew
and a little crack that little seed and
that little plant was very uncomfortable
but it was determined to grow even in a
tight situation
so yes
it is difficult but there could be a
great opportunity to grow and finally
honest disagreement is often a good sign
of progress
courageous conversations usually are
great signs of progress so i'll stop
that now and give you all time to do
questions and also say thank you for
having me i know i want to go on a
minute over and i'm sure some of you
have to get back to work but are there
you all got courage now
okay christina well thank you all this
was one thank you
thank you thank you ah
all you are out there you're quite
i'm seeing some of the i'm seeing some
of the comments in the chat you're quite
oh you're quite welcome it was
oh my gosh
thank you charlotte this was fantastic
it's i think it's just what we needed to
hear at the start of the new year too so
very appropriate to get us moving
forward um so uh thank you again for
participating being our speaker on
courageous con conversations
and um as always this this is being
recorded and it will be uploaded to our
youtube channel and i just want to
remind everybody to check us check our
facebook page um follow us on facebook
instagram and also look into our website
we just launched our website with um the
first of the year so
feedback's encouraged and thank you all
for participating have a great day bye

Schedule your speaker

Let us help you find the right speaker for your event. Contact us by email at pdce@iu.edu or by phone at 317-274-4068 or complete our contact form.

Complete the contact form